Man from the not What You Think Tank

I don’t wear a sheet
and I have all my teeth, back ones too,
keeping me cunning enough
to out grin crocodiles.

I look good in a 3-piece suit and artificial lights
of CNN. I talk in complete sentences
full of eloquence that makes sense to the asses,
I mean masses, of course, but I’ll spin
that line too,

saying that wasn’t what I meant at all, like Prufrock
without the love or song, or I was just
misquoted, just like Jesus

of Washington. I sit on committees, boards,
and am a card-carrying member of the PTA. I pray
to Specious; I’m all about the reasonableness
and always have a seat at the table, ensuring
my voice is heard loud and clear at the black

and white house. I espouse

important things for this grand nation. I’m a good
person, you can tell that by the unread
bible shoved in my back pocket. God mysteriously
works and is willing
to keep things between me and him, both
of us knowing it’s never about him.

It’s a sin, is all I’m saying, and praying
people see the light, that the mighty me
makes right.

Well, I don’t say that, cause I don’t
have to say

I also never say those people
fuck dogs, just that
we need to seriously consider bestiality
as long as we’re seriously considering other things.
Don’t blame me for my listeners’ faulty inference

and I certainly didn’t say

they should have beat the shit out of that Shepard
boy just for existing,
and tied him to a fence, leaving him
to die like Christ, but without

It’s just common sense we need
to create a stop and don’t think tank,
and stop the social experiment, stop
the recruitment, stop the anti-family movement,
and protect the children.

I’m all about the children. We know

they all start out okay and we need
to keep it that way, ensuring their souls
are kept pure as hate. Yeah, sure,
some may get damaged by our graceful state,
but I’m willing to pay the price,

and besides, if some young cock
sucking, fudge packing, God mocking
sissyfag fairy finally
off Heaven’s pearly bridge connecting

Hell to holy Hell

whose goddamn fault
is it?