Different Kinds of Gay Sex

Oh, I don’t mean like anal or oral or krámpack.

I mean like buying him flowers for Valentine’s Day, kissing him good-night, or making him his favorite meal. OR I could mean like being excessively jealous, physically abusive, or pressuring him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.

But wait, you might say, those things don’t sound like kinds of sex at all, but more like relationship-type things. And you’d be right. And you’d be wrong.

For sex IS about the relationship; that is, a manifestation of it. Sex never comes detached from relationships. Even having “no relationship” sex is still having a relationship in the same vein as choosing not to decide is still making a choice (check out Freewill by Rush).

Yet time and again the opponents of marriage equality and “gayness” in general keep resorting to a bizarre genital checklist in their quasi-analysis:

Penis. Check. Vagina. Check. Ok, good. Penis Check. Ass. Che-wait a minute. Not good, not good. Danger Will Robinson, danger.

with the only quality of a good and proper marriage for them seeming to be if there is a penis-vagina connection, or potential connection going on.

When they talk of “traditional” marriages and “same-sex” marriages, I never hear considerations raised like:

Do they love one another?

Do they treat each other with respect?

Do they care about one another?

Instead it all goes back to an unwavering penis-vagina ideology where black eyes, affairs, or spousal rape are inconsequential in the consideration of the marriage’s worth.

I just don’t understand that mindset at all. There is lots of sex in my stories. Writing from a gay perspective, penis-ass is frequently a given. But not all penis-ass arrangements are equal, with the dynamics of the relationship as a whole manifesting in the act.
In my eyes, there is a world of difference between love and rape; between sticking by him and just sticking it in; and between being with him and just being in him. For me, the genitals involved are just that: genitals. Far more important to me than how the sex organs matchup is how the persons attached to the sex organs matchup.

But then again, what the hell do I know about marriage?

Your penis, his ass? Sorry. Not valid. Find a vagina and you can join our club.

 Forget 17 years. Forget stormy and sunny weather. Forget sickness and health and until death do you part.

Just repeat after us: “Traditional marriage is between a [penis] and a [vagina].”